Online Yappings!

With the recent boom of online "social" networks, such as Friendster, Facebook, Myspace, Hi5, Zorpia or even something as specific as Naseeb.com, online dating has been the "IN" thing to do. Before, people would shy away from saying that, "Yes, I met my significant other online." Now, it's what I hear from every other couple getting married. "Congratulations! So how did you two meet?"..."Oh! Believe it or not, we met online!" I mean what happened to the good ol' "I picked her up at a bar one night and I knew right then, she was the one!" stories. Ok maybe I've never heard that, actually no my dad's colleague (Much junior to him of course) met his wife at one of the hippest lounges. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! that was one in a million.

So one day, I was talking to a friend, while we were procrastinating at work, about single hood and how the parents are hunting. All of a sudden, she mentions, "Are you online?" and here, our conversation as follows,

Me: Um yeah! how am I talking to you retard?
(We were chatting on AIM)
She: No not that online! Are you online like on a website, a social network!?!
(Of course, I laughed at that...)
Me: Social Network! What the hell is that? WAKE UP CALL...We already have a lot of friends. Remember Saturday's Party? A lot of people!
(Now, of course, I'm seen as the retard...)
She: No bozo, it’s an online community where you can make friends, meet people for either friendship or even dating...
Me: Oh you mean something like IRC?
She: Damn you are still in the ice age! (Haha she didn’t say that, I was just making the conversation a little funnier that it actually was--If I can't laugh at myself, who else will...OK Don't answer that!) No it’s where you participate in a discussion board, exchange emails with people and then maybe meet in person.
(Still Baffled...)
Me: And we don’t do that now? why do we have to do it online?
She: Well, it's another avenue to meet people. Who knows, you might meet your Salman Bald Khan online!
Me: He's not bald! He's Balding! And he’s getting it fixed!
She: Whatever...so yeah...I've joined this website called Naseeb.com you should check it out.
Me: Naseeb as in Destiny?
She: Haha...yeah
Me: It's not a matrimonial site is it?
Me: It's an online social MUSLIM network? Sweetie, since when was the last time you saw me pray?
She: Never...but most of the people there aren’t that religious...it’s just a front...
Me: hmm...ok I’ll think about it...I have to get back to work before my boss shoves a poll up my ass for not working....haha
She: ONLY YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING AS VILE AS THAT! love ya!
Me: heehee... l8r
(20 mins go by.....)
Me: So I just joined Naseeb...what do I do now?
She: Heeeheee I knew it you couldn’t resist. Just be there and you will see...Oh let me add you and then write a testimonial for you.
Me: Ok Me too...
(Another 20 mins go by)
Me: Oh look I have a new email.... from _____________ (Sorry I had to edit this out)
Subject: Hi
You look really cute! Would you like to make frandship with me?
Hope to hear from you soon
____________
Me: So this is what you got me into???????????? frandship with me? and how the hell does he know that I'm cute? I don't even have a picture besides that stupid icon....

And my naseeb life starts...and in that process I joined friendster because a friend that I met on naseeb after a very long time said I should join friendster...Reason? People are less weird.
ok..... (and yes it’s true...friendstarians are less weird!)

So the observations I’ve made whilst being "online"
1. Men, as soon as they hear you are single, immediately the pouncing starts...meaning, they want to date you. You automatically change from an online friend to a potential significant other (or potential fuck buddy for some). regardless if you've chatted for only 2 mins or more.
2. If one sends a private message, it for some reason, automatically means that they like you and want to date you and possibly have your kids! (People!....IT'S A TOTAL MYTH! I don’t want to date you...Well not most of you. I just want to see if you have a brain and a laughing chromosome in your body; and if I do want to date you, we've probably already met in person more than 5 times and i'm willing to spend more time with you)
3. Most people are LIARS...aka Insecure to the T.
4. If you don’t have a picture, you are not considered a person of substance. Which kinda make sense but then again what about those people who put up pictures of their fave celebrity, or worse, their hot cousin!

Am I missing something here? I’m sure there are a few more observations that I can pen down but at this point, this post is getting way too long and i’m getting bored. Time for me to do something else...until then keep reading mes amis!


At July 06, 2006 7:19 PM, Ehsan said...

Men always look for single woman regardless of the reason. The moment you log on to any social network you become part of the game. You will encounter good and bad, but generalizing all man with your sour experience is foolish. Look at the word “Private Message” carefully. It does not say “Public Message” , the rest should be clear. Let’s agree with Dazz for once, they are all perverts, idiots and liars out there. So don’t you think this is good enough reason not to post your picture. I think Dazz is contradicting herself here, blaming both ends. I saw someone post a negative of a picture, what do you think of that?