A few nights back, I was talking to a friend and we were chatting about all the aspects of flirting. And we came to the conclusion that when a person is single, flirting is a necessity for mental survival and that every person should be given a crash course on it especially if the person still has not mastered this art! But when attached, should it be accepted? Yes, No? Why? Why not? It was interesting to see that we both had different perspectives. When reading ahead, note the fact that I am female and my friend is male. But before I share our views, here is an article I read while surfing through the net.
Is it Bad to Flirt?
Q: Is flirting good for a relationship? I am in a committed relationship and love my girlfriend dearly. But, sometimes I like to flirt with other women because it makes me feel good about myself. Is this a bad thing?
A: Flirting is never a bad thing when it’s done with your partner. However, when it’s done with someone outside of the relationship, it may lead to damaging results: hurting your partner’s feelings, creating mistrust, generating feelings of guilt and, especially, affairs! Although flirting may feel harmless, it has a way of igniting flames of passion between people that eventually need to be acted out physically. This is one behavior that is better left alone if you value your relationship. A question you should be asking yourself is this: Why do you need to flirt in order to make yourself feel good about yourself. Sure, it’s nice to be acknowledged by other women who find you appealing, but it’s also a sign of insecurity. For the safety of your relationship, you need to look for more constructive ways of boosting your ego.
So now that you have read the article, what are your thoughts? Well here are ours...
My friend(s)' thought Flirting should stop as soon as person is attached. Well flirting should be with only significant other. Reason: "I wouldn't [appreciate] it.", "why?", " Just because...Plus its not healthy. It could lead to infidelity even though I'd trust my girl but not the guy she is flirting with."
My thoughts and Response to my friends thought?
I think its ridiculous! Basically it boils down to the fact that whether you trust your significant other (or maybe yourself, if you are approached with the situation) or not. If you do, mere flirting wont hurt because you'll know that he/she was only joking; especially if its once in a blue moon. Honestly, chances are if your significant other is flirting with someone else in front of you KNOWS you're right there...at most he or she is just riling you up to turn you on.
"It could lead to infidelity even though I'd trust my girl but not the guy she is flirting with."
That just screams major INSECURITY to me. Because if you trust your significant other, I can assure you the person he or she is flirting with won't get anything. I mean seriously...Lets use this for an example:
2 couples at a party. Couples are mingling separately. Girl of Couple one jokingly flirts with Guy of couple 2. Guy of couple 2 makes a pass. if that happens, most likely girl of couple 1 will just leave (as rude as it looks) and will join her significant other and will remain with him the entire time. Now if guy of couple 2, gets a hold of her number then girl of couple 1 will inform girl of couple 2. The End right there! How hard can that be?
Honestly, flirting to me is harmless, only because I am a very loyal person. I don't believe in cheating. If a person even thinks twice about cheating...you know right then that, HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!
PS: For those who are single and don't know how to flirt, read this article:
At June 28, 2006 6:05 PM, Ehsan said...
You can not teach anyone to flirt. Everyone has their own style. Flirting takes different forms depending on your intentions. You only flirt because you are unsatisfied or flirting to score. Flirting with someone you know or someone you don’t know. I don’t flirt with known woman; I mean I don’t want to sleep with my friend’s wife. Flirting can be visual or verbal. Well in my case its always visual leading to verbal (Provided I am lucky). I also flirt for fun (even though intentions are same being a man), I will look in her eyes, than pay attention to her bust and butt. I am sure most girls get a kick out when a guy is checking out her assets. And if her movements become erratic giving you better views you know both you having fun. Flirting is like a spark,It might or might not ignite a fire. I disagree with Dazz. Flirt only if you are single or if you wana score.
At July 04, 2006 4:09 PM, Hamzeena said...
As a bisexual non-op transsexual (born male, taking female hormones and living as a woman, but will not have a sex-change operation), i have flirted four ways: dressed as a man interacting with men or with women, and dressed as a woman in encounters with women or men.
I sink zee women may be loyal, but zee men can easily be manipulated. As such, I agree with Mr. Nashe.
At July 04, 2006 4:43 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...
Hamzeena...i never knew you were such the imposter! Nice to know after all this time...
Ehsan: There is such a thing as informal flirting my friends and i do it all the time especially in the end of the day when we both know we mean nothing by it!
At July 05, 2006 4:25 PM, Krishnokoli said...
I don't think flirting is harmless, especially after one has had experiences of flirting leading to something, and hence you know "what you can get". It can be tempting, and I dont believe in taking life as a challenge when it comes to relationships.
No one is THAT strong - flirting opens up avenues to cheat and therefore, ifyou are in a relationship, I personally think its insincere to flirt.
I wouldn't like my significant other to flirt unless its ABSOLUTELY innocent, in which case it's kidding around and not flirting.
FLirting has a sexual connotation - you are increasing intimacy, sharing some sort of 'not so visible to others' attraction....
However, everyone has their own understanding of what they expect from relationships so if your significant other doesn't care, then it's fine I guess.