Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Om Shanti Om vs Saawariya

The Battle is finally over.... They were both scheduled to release on the same day November 9th and they did...but which one is better? Or shall I say, which one is WORSE....

Before I THOROUGHLY trash both the movies, let's go back a little from day one- the start of the hype.

How a person decides to watch a Hindi movie at the theaters vs at home on DVD or worse on regular cable.

1. The Promos... You eagerly wait for your favorite show to come on air and just as it is about to start, you see the promo of a lifetime. Your favorite actor or a a new hottie or your fave director's movie is releasing soon with something like....BOOM BOOM...GUESS WHO IS BACK IN TOWN...BOOM BOOM...YES HE'S BACK WITH A VENGEANCE BOOM BOOM...and you get all excited to see who's back...its your star and there starts the promo and as soon as it ends you call your friend and say we have to watch this movie.... That's how it started with Om Shanti Om and Saawariya....look at the promos...tell me the moment you saw it you weren't dying to see the movie....or at least I was...

Om Shanti Om


2. Actors/Actresses...You looked at the promos and then you see the actor/actresses line-up. Credibility/likability vs the no name. In OSO, you have king khan, new hottie Deepika, Arjun Rampal and Shreyas Talpade...Great actors OK maybe not as much for Deepika since it's her first film and all and well Arjun either...most girls will kill me but Arjun is just good to look at and hear his voice...beyond that, there hasn't been a single role of his that I would say is fantastic...Actually, if you really want my opinion, I think Shahrukh Khan is an equally bad actor...I know actors tend to follow a certain style. in which his is how do I badly imitate Amitabh Bachchan now which always backfires and makes me look like a jackass. I'm sorry mister so-called King Khan...Big B is a class of his own and he has more talent in his pinkie than u have in your entire body and some....To me it's sad that I'd rather see newcomers like Ranbir and Sonam Kapoors than see you. Speaking of the new stars of Saawariya, of course they are going to attract people...they are offsprings of FABULOUS actors...Ranbir Kapoor, son of Rishi and Neetu Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor, daughter of Anil Kapoor... No they are all not related. This movie has 2 credible actors too--Rani Mukherjee and my lover boy Salman Khan...(no I'm not biased here) So both movies have quite the heavy duty star cast but which did better?

3. Story/Music... Although i will say that story isn't that important at times because there have been plenty of times that I have completely stupid movies just because of the star cast but nowadays, both story and music do play a huge role. If you look at the promos both the movies seem interesting...I personally liked Saawariya as a story more because it had the chance to show something new whereas you kind of figure out that OSO is just a spoof and that there would be no story and just pure laughter...little do u know what is in store for you....Music of course tremendously important, but usually there is always one song in the movie that you didn't hear earlier will get stuck in your mind once you come out of the movie.

4. Director...Last but not the least the director....sometimes there are some fluke directors who have their one hit wonders or a bad past story seems interesting enough to spend the time, energy and money on but besides that who has the money to waste on useless directors...so you look at the credibility of the directors here...Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Farah Khan...SLB has fantastic record of Black, Khamoshi, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. I'm not mentioning Devdas because I didn't really like his opulent version of the original story. Farah Khan being an amazing choreographer for the longest time and also super duper hit director of Main Hoon Naa...so here the expectations are high.....

so based on these credentials, how did the movies fare/fair?

Both films were quite disappointing..and here is why...


1) SRK you can't act and your hyped up 6-pack abs instead of turning me on, churned my stomach and made my chanachur not settle well in my stomach.

2) There was absolute no story...yes I was aware that there would be no story, I got it from Main Hoon Naa and I did read the directions prior to watching this movie but even then, throughout the movie I kept on waiting for something funnier and by that time the movie ended...where is the masala that everyone was talking about...Khalid Mohammed, you owe me 20 bucks. I mean even in Main Hoon Naa there were some amazingly funny moments and made the movie worthwhile...this movie had nothing....

3) When I initially started writing this post (when the movies came out) I was somewhat disappointed with the music. Though the songs Ajab Si and Main Agar Kahoon really clicked with me. These two songs truly touches one's heart. At first, Deewangi Deewangi didn't really make much of an impression on me but now that it has grown on me the song really makes you want to dance with all the 31+ stars. The visual of SRK's so called body and Dard-E-Disco just doesn't do it for me...even then and now! I'm sure all you SRK lovers are going to coming knocking on my door waiting to pound me but seriously!?! Forget Salman Khan because everyone knows I'm biased towards him, look at even Saif Ali Khan or even lanky Kunal Kapoor... even though either of them aren't all muscularly chiseled, both look quite YUMMY!

4) Besides Shreyas Talpade who I truly think stole the show, everyone's acting wasn't upto the par or hype if you may call it. Kirron Kher had her moments and well Arjun Rampal was again lost in the crowd. It's funny how Deepika, the new stunning beauty of Tinseltown, would thank Farah and Srk for giving her a break etc....what break? did she even have much of a role?? It was yet again all about SRK!

5) Farah! Farah! Farah! What were you thinking? Ok, no I give it to you the concept was fun...but really?There are soo many other movies that attempted this and did a better job.I seriously don't know what to tell you! I'm just dumbfounded as to WHY?!?!....Before I say anything I will regret, I'll just move on.

Ok Ok Ok!! I get it will stop the bashing...well for this movie...Yes every movie has its moments and good points. And here they are!

1. Thank you for introducing Deepika Padukone to us! She is a stunner!
2. Music...Vishal-Shekhar...love love love Ajab Si
3. The Special Appearances by various actors and actresses....Abhishek ROCKED!

Ok I can't think of anymore...so let me move on to SAAWARIYA...

no I mean... Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawaaariyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Richa Sharma, you can sing it as long and loud as you want, it just won't change the fate of the film!

Ok Relatively if i were to compare the two movies, i definitely liked Saawariya more because it was different. Those of you who read the original story, White Nights by Fyodor Dostoevsky should know that the book is a depressing book. So those who walked in thinking it's going to be a hungama masaledar movie then, I have nothing to say.

Many ppl were asking where is this place located, which is weird because in the beginning of the movie, if ppl carefully listened, clearly Rani had mentioned that the place is in her imagination. Ok I will stop validating for this movie because everyone has a right to their own opinion. Just like i hated OSO, ppl are allowed to hate Saawariya...

But here is my take on the Film....

The PROS...

1. First and foremost everyone must agree that the music of this film is quote-on-quote "MIND BLOWING". Every number truly hits another level of good notes. Whether if it's Saawariya's title track or Jab Se Tere Naina or even Thode Badmaash. Every song brings out the listener's emotions. Shail, Shaan and Shreya (huh, I never realized the singers' names all start with the same letter as the movie oh and the director! Coincidence?)

2. Of course Salman and Rani were the best in the film, even though their roles were small.

3. I actually liked the story as it was slightly different from your regular masaledar films.

4. The cinematography was interesting...something different and it does seem to fit the context however it may have been over done at times.

The Cons

1. The biggest con of the film is it's script. I truly believe that had it been a better script, this movie would have done much better at the box office.

2. The newcomers' acting. Clearly this movie shows that these two newborn stars are newcomers and have a long long long way to go. Even though Sonam Kapoor is more bearable, Ranbir looked more like a comical clown than a "happy-go-lucky" kinda guy who is pining away for a girl who has no clue about him. You can look and be playful and not look like a dork which Ranbir managed to do.

3. The sound quality of the movie was bad as if it was done in the backseat of a car, unless if it was just my version, however when the songs played it sounded great! so who knows. It definitely affected my movie experience.

The final verdict on the movies? OSO was a sure super duper flop whereas Saawariya although was a better film, it didn't really leave much of an impression... Didn't meet up to the hyped expectations...
Both movies get a half a star. ok i will give Saawariya one more star.

Let's Hope and PRAY Taaren Zameen Par fairs well and regains faith in Indian cinema.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Chapped Lips??

Ever wonder why chapped lips hurt or irritate so much? Especially when you have that flu that gets every bit out of you? So I've come up with a few theories which probably, if not definitely, are childish and stupid. At first, I thought, like any normal person would, it is probably because of the weather. It is kinda chilly so that should be it. But then again, with me having the flu (aka bacterial infection or walking pneumonia---yeah don't ask) I haven't really stepped out of my pad. God I love the Internet and the ability to do almost EVERYTHING online... Ok That Theory is out...Next Theory....Dehydration...but with the amount of water I'm drinking, I'm sure my bladder alone can support an entire drought. So that's out...So to Humor myself I came up with a ridiculous theory, which is:...My Lips haven't been getting much action lately so it's a sign that I need to up my game... As I crack up at this theory because part of me could be stupid enough to actually believe it, my lips hurt even more and seriously chapstick, you aren't working quite well right now so I might have to fire you...But before I do that, I decided to take a stroll on good ole Google to find other remedies...so this is what I found. (FYI..the comments in purple are my thoughts)

Here's what you can do to keep your lips soft and moist:
Don't lick your lips. It may make your lips feel better temporarily, but you'll be making matters worse. Licking your lips has the same drying effect as constantly washing your hands; the repeated exposure to water actually robs moisture from the skin, causing it to become dry.

Seriously....isn't that the first thing you think of doing... ????And I'm still doing it!

Use a lip balm. Numerous products are available over the counter. Pick one that you like so you'll use it frequently. Most lip balms are waxy or greasy and work by sealing in moisture with a protective barrier. Plain old petroleum jelly works just fine, too.
Petroleum jelly huh...I guess coz the damn chapstick is just not working!!! no matter how much I slather it on, it's not going...

Screen out the sun. The sun's ultraviolet rays can damage and dry the sensitive skin on your lips in the
same way they can harm the skin on other parts of your body. Indeed, the lips are a common site for skin cancer, since they don't contain melanin, a pigment (coloring) that helps protect skin from ultraviolet rays. Certain skin cancers that appear on the lips may be more serious and more likely to spread, too, so if you'll be out in the sun, use a lip balm that contains sunscreen. Choose a product that has an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or higher.
Check...i haven't been going out so I'm covered...though my chapstick does come with SPF 15 and still taste like vanilla mint.

Wear lipstick. OK, this advice may apply only to female readers. But dermatologists say older women are less likely than older men to have skin damage on their kissers, especially on the lower lips, and lipstick may be the reason. Lipstick appears to offer moderately effective protection against the sun's ultraviolet rays, and these days you can purchase lipstick that includes sunscreen, for even greater protection. Lipstick acts as a moisturizer, too.
I'm home...who's gonna see my lips...but I guess it makes a difference when I prove my ridiculous theory wrong... hehe

Check out your toothpaste. You might want to consider whether an allergy to your toothpaste or mouthwash could be to blame for the rough, red skin on your lips. Try switching brands of toothpaste and skipping the mouthwash for a few days to see if the problem clears. Also, rinse well after brushing.
Ok this is not an overnight remedy... hmmpf...I'm more of an instant remedy kind of girl...but you can be allergic to toothpaste..I thought they all contained the same stuff...

Watch what passes between them. When lips are chapped, they're more sensitive, and certain foods can irritate them. Hold off on pepper, mustard, barbecue sauce, orange juice, and alcoholic beverages to give your lips a break as they heal.
Hold off on PEPPER!!!! Are you Nuts!?! That's like telling an idiot in Bangladesh that hes not getting any Yaba TONIGHT! Mustard, BBQ sauce, OJ and even alcoholic beverages i can deal with but seriously? Peppers...I think I'm going to have to rethink this.

"Remembering these home remedies will keep you smiling about how your lips look."

So this is how the article ends...well it has credits and all which I'm not posting here only because I'm linking the article down below...But the only thing that I can think of is my BLOODY CHAPSTICK IS NOT WORKING AND I NEED SMOOTH LIPS RIGHT AWAY!!!

Read The Article on Home Remedies for Chapped Lips

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

America, Where in the World Are You?

The other day, I was at my electrolysis appointment and I was talking to the lady, who single handedly has the ability and the clearance to give me pain by the nanosecond, about my future plans....The one that everyone knows about...ME MOVE TO DUBAI and what not and not to my surprise she didn't know where Dubai was located. Yes, I've gone through this since I first moved to the United States but it kind of made me slightly worried that even with recent developments in the news she would at least know where the middle east is. What scared me even more was that she didn't even know that it was in the Asian continent! To her the Asian continent meant China, Japan...basically the far east. I was mortified when she didn't even know that Israel, her country of origin, was in Asia too!!! Are you kidding me?

I remember when I was a kid, by grade 4 we had to memorize the map and here a grown nearing 40 yr old woman didn't even know Israel was in Asia? When I first saw Dan Nainan's comedic act (video is down below) regarding Americans not being able to recognize a world map, ofcourse I laughed my head off but deep down thought, it can't be that bad....Well buddy smell the coffee...it's worse. I just don't seem to understand why Americans are soo uneducated about the world. Now I wont say that all are dumb but majority of them are! and its truly very sad.

Long time ago, a friend of mine had told me that one of the questions she had to answer for her immigration test was to answer who the current president of the USA was and ofcourse she answered and that was that. The correct granted her american citizenship but that was the only question...and you would think now thats an easy one. but no...apparentmy many americans cant even answer that question (look at my previous posts- funny videos). Another case of american stupidity was an answer that miss tean america pageant contestant - miss tean south carolina had given to the question of why a percentage of americans can not locate the United States of America in a world map. Watch this...

Unbelievable right???? But its true!!! So what do we do about this? A breath of fresh air was when my aunt and cousin had visited me for thanksgiving and basically told me that she was making our cousin memorize the map so he had general knowledge of the world. and to make him even more motivated, he is competing in different geography competitions. so as a game him and I played this quiz online where it tests your knowledge about the world. its really interesting....

I know rambled quite a bit and i probably should come back and edit this post but as for now it is what it is ....

Want to see how intelligent you are? check out the quiz sites that my cousin and I went through...

National Geographic's GeoBee Quiz

Fun Trivia

ENJOY! Oh and also enjoy the Dan Nainan video....he's hilliarious!

A Bangladesh Biman Experience...

Too Funny to Not Share

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Funny Videos 10.18.07

Funny Videos that cracked me up in the last couple of days....

Nouvelle Star

Death Star

Laughing Exercises

Papa CJ


Italian Who Went to Malta

Eric O' Shea - TV Commercials

Americans are NOT STUPID - With Subtitles

Afghani Fart Man

Comments From Facebook

Akkas Al-Ali (London) wrote
at 2:18pm on October 18th, 2007
Americans are such fucking fuckwit morons. Britain should revoke America's independence and then hand it over to the Cubans as a special Christmas present.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


Phewww...that was the last of the old posts. so for those of u who are confused... my last post on my trip to Bangladesh was written and took place last year...

But i do have quite a lot of blog ideas stored for you guys to read. Now that I'm all inspired to write i should continue with the flow and start one.


The Age of Innocence

Today was one of those days where I just was not in the mood to do much. Although, I had meetings all day and in all over the city, most of my time was spent commuting. My last meeting had finished earlier than I had expected and since I was meeting a friend for a catch-up dinner, I had to find something to do. At first, I thought as any girl would, I could do some shopping. I looked around and found myself in the furniture district. Well, not really--I only called it that because i was surrounded by furniture stores. Since I am not in that stage of my life where i would go to do designer furniture shopping, I had to refrain myself to just window shopping. Well I sort of take that back, even if i was in that stage, why would i get a brand name table for 10+ grand when i can get its replica made in Dhaka for quarter the price? Don't get me wrong here, I'd pay for designer clothes because you do see a difference in quality, but a table at the end of the day is a table. Ok, I'm going off tangent here.

So as i was window shopping, it started to rain so hard that it seemed like it was going to give Manhattan a power wash cleaning. And thank God to my timing, well pace, I found a cute cafe for shelter. I ordered my cappuccino, relaxed on the couch and figured that since i still had 40 mins to kill (Yes i know i got out early!) i should be slightly productive and work on my client proposals. As I "worked on the proposals", the Bangal that I am, I couldn't help but eavesdrop. Actually, it's not just by being a bangal but also my training from New York Life that has made more attentive than I normally seem.

Sitting next to me was a mother and daughter chatting away about their lives. Their conversation really surprised me because here was a mother telling her at most 10 year old daughter about her work issues that related to office politics and office dating. And what shocked me even more what that this 10 year old was actually listening and giving her SOUND advice. Of course at first I was thoroughly impressed but what kinda bothered me was that where is the innocence that a 10 yr old child should have? I remember when i was 10 years old, Rainbow Bright and the Smurfs made my day and the only decision I was making whether I should do my homework now or after dinner. Forget about giving sound advice to my parents.

Look at children today, my cousins who aren't even 7 or 8 already have boyfriends and they know about sex!?! Like what the hell? Why are our children losing their innocence. So when it is time for me to have kids, they would be born with such knowledge? Does that even make sense? CERTAINLY NOT TO ME!!!


The Flight To Bangladesh

As the days for my trip to Bangladesh get closer, I can feel myself becoming more anxious, nervous, excited and in denial all at the same time. I don't know what it is that makes me feel all these mixed emotions. I guess my mind is used to this pattern. My urge to go and the fact that I miss the country I was born in, makes me yearn for it but as soon as I land, I'm already ready to come back. It has always been that way; even when I lived in Abu Dhabi for the umpteenth years. Throughout the entire flight, I question myself, "Am I really going? No! Really?" Even while I'm at either Heathrow or Dubai Int'l Airport waiting for my connecting flight, instead of browsing thru Duty-Free feelings of in denial rush through my brain. It's interesting to me as to why I feel that way...and it’s only when I travel to Bangladesh. No other place. Bangladesh is the only one country that make me go through this denial process...

So once I’m on the plane, the only way I know that I’m on my way to the motherland is when I encounter ppl who each are more bizarre than the other. When I tell these stories to my relatives (while I tell them how my flight was), they literally don't believe me and they think I make these things up; and I tell them, even I don’t have that much creativity. Once, this lady sat next to me, I was on the window seat and she on the aisle (in business class mind you), she tells me, "Apa, iktu plane'r bua ta ke bolben jalna ta bondho korey ditey, bairer batashey thanda lagchey!" And at this point I don’t know what to do or say...oh the translation...the translation is...sister, can u tell the plane's servant to shut the windows...the air from outside is making me feel cold! I mean what do you say then. Do you laugh? (In my mind of course I did.) do u oblige quietly and just continue let them be ignorant and possibly look like a fool later. Another incident was this guy was in the bathroom for a long long time and was feeling dirty... (Oh lord was he smelling too) and then after a few mins we see the bathroom was leaking...How is that possible? The dude took a plastic glass and was smart enough to attempt to take a shower inside the bathroom. One glass of water on his head. The worst is when it clearly says it’s a NON-SMOKING flight and there are guys who cover their cigarette and pretend that no one can see them or think that SMOKE TRAVELS!

Honestly, after incidents like these I won’t even talk about Babies crying. As much as the fact that babies are cute and all...but as soon as I hear the tonsils flaring and the whole waterworks, I’m ready to do the following,

(1) punch the crap out of the kids and/or parents
(2) take an injection out to sedate...which I think should be required....ok maybe not even an injection...how about Brufen, Fenargen...Nothing happened to us!
(3) Kill me now?!?!?!?!
(4) Forget sedating the kids, sedate me! When will there ever be any solutions....ok how about a sound proof section in the flight for all children and their parents. Oh and SNORERS too! I think I’m on to something here....What do you guys think!

PS. This blog was written at the Dubai Airport, Marhaba Lounge, AWESOME PLACE!

At July 20, 2006 11:47 AM, Shirin said...

Thats exactly why I do not travel international. I have a hard time traveling domestic with kids who cant stop crying and adults who become big babies. Thank God for my IPOD, or I would have shot myself in the plane. I remember going to Pakistan 6 years back and I had the most miserable time traveling. Kids were annoying, the food sucked, I couldnt sleep and people were just plain morons. It was a bad experience for sure. I went to Paris 3 years back and that wasnt too bad cause I had all 3 seats to myself and was able to sleep through out the flight :) and most of the plane was empty coming back as well.

I had another interesting experience traveling to Paris. I ran into a child hood friend of mine that I knew back in Pakistan. I hadnt seen him for 16 years and I did recognize him :) Isnt that weird? I knew he was living in NYC because his parents are good friends with my folks but we never met until my flight to Paris....

I have had other good experiences as well for example, I was bumped up to first class and was sitting next to a hottie that I still keep in touch with ;)

Have fun in Dhaka! keep us posted..love ya

At July 30, 2006 2:21 AM, Sherihan said...

nice blog..loving the posts! but just so you know, u arent the only one who has wierd experiences while travelling to bangladesh. a woman once bit me on the arm while we were fighting for the suitcase trolley!! thank god i was wearing a jacket or else i would have needed to get sum serious check up on the diseases she might have tranfered! hehe, dont u just luv/hate bangladesh? its so different!

Song Lyrics

Have you guys ever noticed the fact that the songs that have the most obscene lyrics have the best beat?

Check this out

Next - Too Close : http://www.lyricsfreak.com/n/next/too+close_20099989.html

Shaggy - It wasn't me http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/shaggy/itwasntme.html

Ying Yang Twins - Shake : http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/yingyangtwins/shake.html

Poe - Hey Pretty : http://www.lyricsdepot.com/poe/hey-pretty.html

There are many more...But the most recent.

Pussycat Dolls - Buttons : http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pussycatdolls/buttons.html

Whats funnier is when we girls are on the dance floor busting our sexiest moves and singing these lyrics out loud...But what really makes me think is that are we soo deprived that we must listen to sex-driven songs...what happened to good poetry and actual meanings in songs....?

At July 20, 2006 11:33 AM, Shirin said...

You are absolutely right. So many people just dance to this music and have no idea about the lyrics. In my case, I dont listen to rap, hip hop or r&b. I listen to a lot of trance which barely has any lyrics; its all electronic music.

Get this, one day, I was watching my friend's daughters who are about 8 and 10 years old. They both started to sing the song, "Its getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes" etc. and I was shocked that these little girls listen to this kind of music. I, myself, didnt even know the song. So yeah this kind of music can make an impact...

I know I am keeping my kids away from that kind of music..lol..

The Hunch

After 2 long years, I'm finally going to Bangladesh to visit my family. I haven't seen my grandmother in such a long time that I can't wait. Especially to beat her at a game of "Aat guti LUDU" (Ludo for those of you who don't know) after the numerous accusations of cheating that come her way. Her response to it all is "Shuno, ami tomar nanu, ami churi kori na!" (Translation: "Listen, I'm your grandmother, I do not cheat!") Yeah right is all we think of...

I can finally play carrom with the cousins, go on long drives at night while listening to the latest mix my cousin made, or go to old town at 3am just to have glass of fresh milk or hard boiled egg. And then come back with Chicken Biryani for the rest. Good Times...

I know I sound very enthusiastic and excited, but there is part of me that is apprehensive about this whole trip. And it's all because of the things my friends and family are telling me. Basically the gist of the story is that everyone and their mothers have this hunch that on this trip back home, I'm going to find the man of my dreams and get married. Now I know in my previous blogs, I've mentioned the fact that I'm ready to settle down but seriously am i really? Maybe part of me is getting cold feet of the whole idea or possibly the fact that I'm not ready to really face the reality of life. Now that most of my friends are getting married or are looking to getting married, are we in that phase where we no longer get Naptime? I mean when and how did we get here? Wasn't it just yesterday we were playing catch in the dorm hallways.

The other night when i was talking to my aunt and she was telling me about her hunch, i asked her what makes her think that...All she said was she wasn't sure and that its just a good feeling about it. And when i asked my friends as to why they thought the same, they had the same reason. Is this a sign? Is something really going to happen in Dhaka? Something as drastic as me coming back engaged or married....Isn't that too soon? How come im not getting these good feelings!!! I mean I'm only going for a month....Who knows...I guess, I just have to hope for the best and just accept reality and what comes my way. Oh well...Dhaka here i come!

At July 20, 2006 2:48 AM, Anonymous said...

If you are ready then you are ready...though many of us try to believe in little superstitions like these. For example the whole butterfly concept. i heard that if a butterfly or a big bumble bee flies around you or even lands on you, you get married quite soon after. Has that happened to you?? I know its a wierd superstition but it did come true for a cousin of mine... Coincidence? Who knows!

Unwanted Attention

Yet another weekend goes by and yet another night of painting the town red is exercised. Unlimited swigs of BLEEP, crazy dancing on tables, long bathroom lines of partly smashed women, and a heaping number of blackmailing photographs! Did I forget to mention the unprecedented amount of winks, Howdys (ok we're not in Texas), and pick up lines that seriously don't work!?!
Naturally, we all women and men too, love attention from anyone and everyone; It's just human nature to like that stuff. But really, is it appreciated at all times?!!? HELL NO! I swear if i hear one more guy screaming at the top of his lungs while I'm crossing the street, "Hey beautiful, Come to Papi" I'm gonna scream. Don't guys ever figure it out that its not attractive? It's such a major turn off!
What's worse is when the broke both wannabe and real thugs do it. One day i will tell them that dude, you already have a disadvantage, don't ruin it for yourself completely! And if a girl doesn't respond the first time, chances that in some parallel universe things will turn over and make her desire u now is highly unlikely. I know i sound like a snob right now but hey...BITE ME!

So boys, those of you who follow this route, if you honestly wanna score, go home take a shower,brush your teeth, get a haircut, groom yourself completely, get an education that pays u money, read a couple of self help books on how to approach a woman decently and then come back. I can guarantee you 100% success!

i know this last post was a complete ramble but i just had to spit it out now before i forgot.

Online Yappings!

With the recent boom of online "social" networks, such as Friendster, Facebook, Myspace, Hi5, Zorpia or even something as specific as Naseeb.com, online dating has been the "IN" thing to do. Before, people would shy away from saying that, "Yes, I met my significant other online." Now, it's what I hear from every other couple getting married. "Congratulations! So how did you two meet?"..."Oh! Believe it or not, we met online!" I mean what happened to the good ol' "I picked her up at a bar one night and I knew right then, she was the one!" stories. Ok maybe I've never heard that, actually no my dad's colleague (Much junior to him of course) met his wife at one of the hippest lounges. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! that was one in a million.

So one day, I was talking to a friend, while we were procrastinating at work, about single hood and how the parents are hunting. All of a sudden, she mentions, "Are you online?" and here, our conversation as follows,

Me: Um yeah! how am I talking to you retard?
(We were chatting on AIM)
She: No not that online! Are you online like on a website, a social network!?!
(Of course, I laughed at that...)
Me: Social Network! What the hell is that? WAKE UP CALL...We already have a lot of friends. Remember Saturday's Party? A lot of people!
(Now, of course, I'm seen as the retard...)
She: No bozo, it’s an online community where you can make friends, meet people for either friendship or even dating...
Me: Oh you mean something like IRC?
She: Damn you are still in the ice age! (Haha she didn’t say that, I was just making the conversation a little funnier that it actually was--If I can't laugh at myself, who else will...OK Don't answer that!) No it’s where you participate in a discussion board, exchange emails with people and then maybe meet in person.
(Still Baffled...)
Me: And we don’t do that now? why do we have to do it online?
She: Well, it's another avenue to meet people. Who knows, you might meet your Salman Bald Khan online!
Me: He's not bald! He's Balding! And he’s getting it fixed!
She: Whatever...so yeah...I've joined this website called Naseeb.com you should check it out.
Me: Naseeb as in Destiny?
She: Haha...yeah
Me: It's not a matrimonial site is it?
Me: It's an online social MUSLIM network? Sweetie, since when was the last time you saw me pray?
She: Never...but most of the people there aren’t that religious...it’s just a front...
Me: hmm...ok I’ll think about it...I have to get back to work before my boss shoves a poll up my ass for not working....haha
Me: heehee... l8r
(20 mins go by.....)
Me: So I just joined Naseeb...what do I do now?
She: Heeeheee I knew it you couldn’t resist. Just be there and you will see...Oh let me add you and then write a testimonial for you.
Me: Ok Me too...
(Another 20 mins go by)
Me: Oh look I have a new email.... from _____________ (Sorry I had to edit this out)
Subject: Hi
You look really cute! Would you like to make frandship with me?
Hope to hear from you soon
Me: So this is what you got me into???????????? frandship with me? and how the hell does he know that I'm cute? I don't even have a picture besides that stupid icon....

And my naseeb life starts...and in that process I joined friendster because a friend that I met on naseeb after a very long time said I should join friendster...Reason? People are less weird.
ok..... (and yes it’s true...friendstarians are less weird!)

So the observations I’ve made whilst being "online"
1. Men, as soon as they hear you are single, immediately the pouncing starts...meaning, they want to date you. You automatically change from an online friend to a potential significant other (or potential fuck buddy for some). regardless if you've chatted for only 2 mins or more.
2. If one sends a private message, it for some reason, automatically means that they like you and want to date you and possibly have your kids! (People!....IT'S A TOTAL MYTH! I don’t want to date you...Well not most of you. I just want to see if you have a brain and a laughing chromosome in your body; and if I do want to date you, we've probably already met in person more than 5 times and i'm willing to spend more time with you)
3. Most people are LIARS...aka Insecure to the T.
4. If you don’t have a picture, you are not considered a person of substance. Which kinda make sense but then again what about those people who put up pictures of their fave celebrity, or worse, their hot cousin!

Am I missing something here? I’m sure there are a few more observations that I can pen down but at this point, this post is getting way too long and i’m getting bored. Time for me to do something else...until then keep reading mes amis!

At July 06, 2006 7:19 PM, Ehsan said...

Men always look for single woman regardless of the reason. The moment you log on to any social network you become part of the game. You will encounter good and bad, but generalizing all man with your sour experience is foolish. Look at the word “Private Message” carefully. It does not say “Public Message” , the rest should be clear. Let’s agree with Dazz for once, they are all perverts, idiots and liars out there. So don’t you think this is good enough reason not to post your picture. I think Dazz is contradicting herself here, blaming both ends. I saw someone post a negative of a picture, what do you think of that?

Flirting...Yes? No? Maybe?

A few nights back, I was talking to a friend and we were chatting about all the aspects of flirting. And we came to the conclusion that when a person is single, flirting is a necessity for mental survival and that every person should be given a crash course on it especially if the person still has not mastered this art! But when attached, should it be accepted? Yes, No? Why? Why not? It was interesting to see that we both had different perspectives. When reading ahead, note the fact that I am female and my friend is male. But before I share our views, here is an article I read while surfing through the net.

Is it Bad to Flirt?

Q: Is flirting good for a relationship? I am in a committed relationship and love my girlfriend dearly. But, sometimes I like to flirt with other women because it makes me feel good about myself. Is this a bad thing?

A: Flirting is never a bad thing when it’s done with your partner. However, when it’s done with someone outside of the relationship, it may lead to damaging results: hurting your partner’s feelings, creating mistrust, generating feelings of guilt and, especially, affairs! Although flirting may feel harmless, it has a way of igniting flames of passion between people that eventually need to be acted out physically. This is one behavior that is better left alone if you value your relationship. A question you should be asking yourself is this: Why do you need to flirt in order to make yourself feel good about yourself. Sure, it’s nice to be acknowledged by other women who find you appealing, but it’s also a sign of insecurity. For the safety of your relationship, you need to look for more constructive ways of boosting your ego.
So now that you have read the article, what are your thoughts? Well here are ours...
My friend(s)' thought Flirting should stop as soon as person is attached. Well flirting should be with only significant other. Reason: "I wouldn't [appreciate] it.", "why?", " Just because...Plus its not healthy. It could lead to infidelity even though I'd trust my girl but not the guy she is flirting with."

My thoughts and Response to my friends thought?

I think its ridiculous! Basically it boils down to the fact that whether you trust your significant other (or maybe yourself, if you are approached with the situation) or not. If you do, mere flirting wont hurt because you'll know that he/she was only joking; especially if its once in a blue moon. Honestly, chances are if your significant other is flirting with someone else in front of you KNOWS you're right there...at most he or she is just riling you up to turn you on.

"It could lead to infidelity even though I'd trust my girl but not the guy she is flirting with."

That just screams major INSECURITY to me. Because if you trust your significant other, I can assure you the person he or she is flirting with won't get anything. I mean seriously...Lets use this for an example:

2 couples at a party. Couples are mingling separately. Girl of Couple one jokingly flirts with Guy of couple 2. Guy of couple 2 makes a pass. if that happens, most likely girl of couple 1 will just leave (as rude as it looks) and will join her significant other and will remain with him the entire time. Now if guy of couple 2, gets a hold of her number then girl of couple 1 will inform girl of couple 2. The End right there! How hard can that be?

Honestly, flirting to me is harmless, only because I am a very loyal person. I don't believe in cheating. If a person even thinks twice about cheating...you know right then that, HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!

PS: For those who are single and don't know how to flirt, read this article:


At June 28, 2006 6:05 PM, Ehsan said...

You can not teach anyone to flirt. Everyone has their own style. Flirting takes different forms depending on your intentions. You only flirt because you are unsatisfied or flirting to score. Flirting with someone you know or someone you don’t know. I don’t flirt with known woman; I mean I don’t want to sleep with my friend’s wife. Flirting can be visual or verbal. Well in my case its always visual leading to verbal (Provided I am lucky). I also flirt for fun (even though intentions are same being a man), I will look in her eyes, than pay attention to her bust and butt. I am sure most girls get a kick out when a guy is checking out her assets. And if her movements become erratic giving you better views you know both you having fun. Flirting is like a spark,It might or might not ignite a fire. I disagree with Dazz. Flirt only if you are single or if you wana score.

At July 04, 2006 4:09 PM, Hamzeena said...

As a bisexual non-op transsexual (born male, taking female hormones and living as a woman, but will not have a sex-change operation), i have flirted four ways: dressed as a man interacting with men or with women, and dressed as a woman in encounters with women or men.

I sink zee women may be loyal, but zee men can easily be manipulated. As such, I agree with Mr. Nashe.

At July 04, 2006 4:43 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

Hamzeena...i never knew you were such the imposter! Nice to know after all this time...

Ehsan: There is such a thing as informal flirting my friends and i do it all the time especially in the end of the day when we both know we mean nothing by it!

At July 05, 2006 4:25 PM, Krishnokoli said...

I don't think flirting is harmless, especially after one has had experiences of flirting leading to something, and hence you know "what you can get". It can be tempting, and I dont believe in taking life as a challenge when it comes to relationships.

No one is THAT strong - flirting opens up avenues to cheat and therefore, ifyou are in a relationship, I personally think its insincere to flirt.

I wouldn't like my significant other to flirt unless its ABSOLUTELY innocent, in which case it's kidding around and not flirting.

FLirting has a sexual connotation - you are increasing intimacy, sharing some sort of 'not so visible to others' attraction....

However, everyone has their own understanding of what they expect from relationships so if your significant other doesn't care, then it's fine I guess.

Speed Dating

An interesting read....

Our Reporter Gives It A Try...With Some Reservations

By: Zinnia Faruque
Source: Herald News
Link: http://www.flirteve.com/frames.html

When I told my guy friend that I was attending a speed-dating event for single South Asian professionals, he asked if I had my pitch down pat. "What pitch?" I asked. "This isn't a job conference!"

But, really, it made sense. There would be 20 guys and 20 women. You have three minutes to make a lasting impression before the buzzer goes off and leaves you starting all over again with the next potential soul mate.

Then my girlfriend asked an even more unsettling question: "What if no one puts us down on their scoreboard?"

I didn't know what she meant. All I knew about speed-dating was what I'd seen on "Sex and the City." But a scoreboard seemed vaguely ominous.

If you're young, single and looking for love in the metropolitan area, you may already be date-weary. But add to the mix that you are a South Asian seeking other South Asians, and the playing field gets that much smaller.

Most of my group of twenty-something girlfriends are single urbanites working at our first full-time jobs. We like to party, dance and trade stories about our latest hook-ups or misadventures over mimosas at brunch. Most of us have had at least one serious relationship. Not that we're necessarily looking to marry the next person we date, but in these post-college years, we're less willing to date just for dating's sake.

So it makes sense that speed-dating appeals to target ethnic markets, like us. Speed-dating, of course, isn't new. It started in Los Angeles in 1998 - courtesy of Aish HaTorah, a Jewish educational network - as a matchmaking method for Jewish singles.

Like many veteran urban daters, some of my South Asian girlfriends are tired of meaningless bar encounters. In high school, we may have scoffed at being introduced to a "nice South Asian boy," but the idea no longer seem so ludicrous.

It has been six months since I broke up with an ex-boyfriend of three years, and I can't remember when my last "real" date was. So when the speed-dating - an event sponsored by Flirteve.com, a South-Asian-geared Web site - was broached by some friends, I thought: Well, it couldn't hurt.

We speed-daters gathered, one recent Tuesday, for after-work cocktails at Pop, a hip, dimly-lit lounge near Union Square. Okay, I told myself, I will try to be open-minded. I sat down alone at the coffee-sized table assigned to me, armed with pen, notepad and a box of Tic Tacs. Rahul Shah, one of the organizers, stepped forward and explained how the scoreboard worked. You had to mark yes or no after meeting each prospective mate. If both of you wrote yes, you had a match, and you would be sent each other's e-mail addresses in a few days.

"Okay, girls, so all you have to do is sit tight, and let the guys come to you." Said Shah. "Sort of the way it is in real life."

As it turned out, I didn't need a pitch. The guys came prepared with their pitches, just like they do in bars. The first guy, Kunal, sounded almost a little too rehearsed. But he lived in Jersey City, which is where I moved to a month ago. And he seemed like a nice-enough guy. What the hell, I thought, I'll put him down as a yes.

The next guy, Sanjay, was too thin and wiry for my taste. I tuned out what he was saying - until he told me he had spent much of his life in the Philippines and had studied in Manchester, England. Not your typical South Asian guy from Edison, N.J. He seemed cultured and well-traveled. He was going down as a yes.

Then there was Vivek, about 6 feet tall, black hair slicked with gel, wearing a black blazer over jeans. He was finishing his fourth year of residency at NYU med school. Great, I thought, after tonight's roster of engineers, businessmen and doctors, tell me something I don't know. Vivek must have read my mind, because he said he was interested in researching children's public health in developing countries. A socially conscious South Asian guy? I leaned forward with interest.

A few days later, after a bit of paranoia that no one had considered me a yes, I received an e-mail from Flirteve: three matches. My friend Purvi e-mailed me. She had three matches, too, and, luckily, not the same three.

I don't think I found my soul mates. But I was forced to talk to guys I normally would never have approached, and I had been pleasantly surprised. Will I go out with any if they call? Well, I guess it couldn't hurt...

For Full Transcript Email: info@flirteve.com

After having read this, would any of you try speed dating?

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 22, 2006 at 6/22/2006 10:48:00 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

At June 25, 2006 3:48 PM, Anonymous said...

It's a very interesting read....are you thinking of going on speedy dates!

At July 07, 2006 5:08 PM, sana said...

I'm always up for adventures, LOL, especially where I can have stories to tell!

Life As A Desi Singleton

Hi! I am Dazzlingsitar, 25 years old, female, living in New York, with my parents ofcourse because god forbid if I had my own apartment where I could get corrupted by getting too much freedom or worse by boys, looking for a new job and S-I-N-G-L-E. Not Engaged, nor attached. Just good ol' Singleton! Basically in desi lingo well moreso in the words of society and my mother, "You're Old! 25! No spring chicken! Beti, it's time for you to find a nice boy, get married and get out of my house." (like as if it was that easy--getting out of the house that is, heehee, sarcasm, gotta love it) I know she sounds harsh, doesn't she? Well, she probably didn't mean it to be so harsh but I doubt that she meant it any less.

Actually, God has blessed me with a set of very progressive-minded parents compared to the many my friends have. I've been able to get a good education, explore different fashions (damn 80s), countries on my own and most importantly was allowed to "party" and date, boys ofcourse. I know, many, who are reading this are probably thinking, is this girl weird? What's the big deal about partying and dating? Well thing is, when you come from a des(h)i family, many of these things that I've mentioned above are considered as taboo and if any girl is seen doing any of these things, well, gets labeled as "corrupted by the rash western influences" hence social outcast. But luckily this stigma is slowly dying...well I hope it is! Because I don't hear that many girls hiding behind their parents back anymore...or maybe because I'm not 16 anymore, but that's besides the point. The fact that my parents don't care is kinda cool.

But those who are des(h)is, have you noticed that in our community, (regardless of where you are) everybody has a say and is forced to comment on your life regardless if they know you or not? It's truly fascinating to me how all of these people have such insights about my life more than myself. The other day I had gone to yet another family friend's gathering and an aunty-jee comes up to me acting as if she's known me since I was in my mother's womb (ofcourse i didn't know her! Hadn't met her even once in my 25-years and counting of life-but who cares right?) and says, "You should really oil your hair more often, well atleast twice a week so your hair wont be so frizzy frizzy!" Being the polite one that I am, I just smiled and pretended that I actually took that advice as if I knew nothing of these techniques and really thought, " YOU MORON, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF HUMIDITY!?!"

I honestly believe that in a weird dimensional (dellusional if you will) world, they might actually believe that it was an icebreaker because soon after, a series of questions follow, "Have you decided or thought of marriage, Are you seeing anyone? Do you want me set you up with my nephew? You know the time is ticking!"
Immediately, a major rush of thoughts come to my mind. (a) Who are you? (b) Who's and what for is this time ticking? (c) Do you think I'm blind? (ok I didn't really think that but I thought it was funny anyways, (d) Your nephew? hmm and (e) Do I have a neon sign on my forehead that says I'm a single girl here who needs immediate attention to find a good no decent desi boy from a good family and settle down? AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, (f) WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!

In honesty, it wouldn't be such a bad idea, GETTING MARRIED, et all but what's the rush. What's wrong in waiting around while becoming professionally successful, educated and well-traveled? And ofcourse, most importantly, finding THE ONE! I personally feel that one should not get married only because (a) parents said so, or (b)I'm getting old. Such reasons could start off with a weak base for a marriage and hence head to doom. One should really get settled financially and mentally. Financially for obvious reasons...I'm sorry but seriously to all the romantics of this world, "Love" is just not enough. Mentally, well I would think its obvious but I don't mind delving into it.

Mentally, if you feel you should still be single, BE SINGLE! It's only fair to the other person because this rules out the questions of infidelity, lack of trust and communication and etc...Marriage I feel is a union not only between a man and woman, (or man and a man or woman and a woman) but really a union between two families; a concept that I've grown up with. (This in itself can be a blog so I wont get into it now--but I'm sure you guys understand). But seriously, one should be mentally prepared when getting into a marriage and be ready to take on another person as an entity that plays a factor for decision-making.

My married friends tell me, when you're ready you'll know and when you meet him, you will know. It will be an instant recognition. Honestly, I thought I recognized my future husband when I first saw him at age 10. But till Today, I'm ridiculed for being in love with SALMAN KHAN. Hey he is human too...He's not some God that i cant reach. Granted he's 16 yrs older to me but age is just a number right? :D

Oh well, i guess i have to stop dreaming about Salman Khan and come back to reality and start soul searching (Possibly find Salman's replica) because all jokes apart, i think i have finally come in to terms that i feel its time for me to settle down only because I'm done and tired of the dating scene and would love to find someone i can spend a lifetime with and not for just a few free meals and movie dates here and there.

At June 15, 2006 3:23 AM, nusrat said...

Don't worry girl, after the age of 25 you'll be deemed as a hopeless case and they'll stop harassing you. Instead they'll all sit around in groups and shake their heads when you walk by.

At June 15, 2006 11:28 AM, NAB said...

i wouldn't mind getting married already. at least it'd stop all the talks (preemptively) and just allow ME to finally think about things that DON'T have to do with red saris and rings. egh.

and plus, i believe the idea is then that my hubby is going to have to foot my med school tuition fees =) hehehe!

At June 15, 2006 12:19 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

hahaha....nowal, oh the dreams we dream!

and nus, well i havent felt that much of a burn yet as im hardly home...weekends i here some...im scared when i go back to bdesh in the summer... i think i will hear the fat ladies singing then...

At June 15, 2006 3:25 PM, Bushra said...

Seems to me like you're staying true to yourself,relishing every moment of singledom!

and yes Salman has the hottest body in Bollywood ;) Although,Shah Rukh is the man for me...sigh!currently Rahul Bose also gets me drooling :P

At June 16, 2006 10:33 AM, Ehsan said...

In school I had crush on this particular chick. I could hold a snake by its tail but I did not have guts to tell her I fancy her. I went to college a place where we waste the most valuable time of our lives. Was not that lucky either, dated here and there little bit. Final I got engaged with this pretty girl. The night I was putting the ring on her I looked into her eyes I knew something is wrong. I was engaged for 3 months life was good. One fine morning we split. I don’t know where she is but I am good friends with her mom and dad now. Than I looked at society and got married, lasted three months we are separated and sure to be divorced. I am confident I will get married again next year (at least that’s what my guru jee tells me), hoping this will last.

I align with all four (Nusrat, Busra, Nowal, Dazzlingsitar) of you. I am about to complete the whole cycle (Crush-Date-Love-Engaged-Married-Separated-Divorced-Remarry). The idea is:
"Fill the years with life not to fill the life with years"

At June 17, 2006 8:24 AM, gr8gatsby said...

Isn't Salman a deer-killing homo? I always thought he was. Hmmm. I hate families too. I'm des(h)i. I have a progressive family. But I still hate all the shite that comes with it.

At June 19, 2006 5:24 PM, Shirin said...

Girl, you are just hilarious..
Love your blogs! Keep them coming..
BTW, I still get harrased about not being married..oh well!! Old is gold..lol

At June 19, 2006 5:27 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

Bushra: Yeah for some reason srk doesnt go for me...but i do agree with Rahul Bose...he's got that je ne sais quoi thing going on for him...

Ehsan: You've got a pretty intersting life there...I guess in the words of Mama Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get!" It's really the life experiences that get you to where you are today. Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you ever had the courage to tell your crush that you had a crush on her? Would life been any different? hmm..By the way, im curious...how did u get to my blog?

At June 19, 2006 5:29 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

Moose!! Just because he flaunts his boobs in every movie doesnt make him a homo...I'll give u "Deer-killing" but not a homo!!!

But seriously dude...you gotta love family for it...

At June 19, 2006 5:31 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

Shirin: Thanks!! Yeah old is gold, diamonds are forever...what other sayings are there...

At June 20, 2006 7:31 PM, Anonymous said...

"..Marriage I feel is a union not only between a man and woman, (or man and a man or woman and a woman) but really a union between two families; a concept that I've grown up with. (This in itself can be a blog so I wont get into it now--but I'm sure you guys understand). But seriously, one should be mentally prepared when getting into a marriage and be ready to take on another person as an entity that plays a factor for decision-making."

'nuff said.

At June 20, 2006 8:32 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

anonymous poster....do u agree or disagree??

At June 22, 2006 12:38 PM, Ehsan said...

Dazz -

I wonder the same. may be life wouldd be different if I said so. I think i found you on Naseeb.

"Aunty Jee, Can I Bum A Ciggie From You, Please?"

Yes, You read the title and NO, I'm not on Crack, nor am I a smoker! In the past couple of years, I've had the pleasure of meeting quite the "interesting characters". Other people could define them as hypocrites, but I, honestly, would like to be PC for once. Yeah, forget the fact that I am writing about them but oh well - if it weren't for them would I really have a blog today?!? But don't worry, I wont bore you with every single hypocrite I've met. Atleast not all on one day/blog...haha

In lieu of the movie, Thank You For Not Smoking, (not that i've watched this satirical comedy), today's blog is about smokers. Well more specifically, its about all those pious/religious ppl who preach to everyone to be something like Mother Mary but instead hide in a corner and take a swig of alcohol or smoke ciggies. Where am I going with this? Read on...

So being in New York, we have the pleasure of hosting plenty of visitors from out of town, state, and country. This one time (at band camp-sorry I couldnt resist!), we had an out-of-country visitor (I'm not naming any names just to protect them--I dont know why but oh well, it's the least i could do) and i was just telling her that I get premonitions and that when my grandfather passed away I had actually seen it happen 3 or 4 months prior to it happening. And occassionally here and there I see him in my dreams... This is when she asks me whether if I pray regularly or if I read the Qu'ran as a mean for prayers for the dead. And I said no, and this is when I got the lecture of my life how I should pray more often not for my sake but for my grandfather that it's his way of trying to communicate with me that he needs prayers etc... ok so seriously, I was moved and I thought that I really should, for my grandfather at least. After all this she had gone to the patio to join and chit chat with the folks. (yes if you havent guessed already, its about yet another aunty-jee making a difference in my life!) And i just sit for a few moments thinking this alone. And Then decide to join the 'rents...and look at what i see!!!

I see my aunty-jee smoking away with my father, her husband making fun of her as to why she hides and smokes and that she should do it in front of everyone! I swear...i didnt know what to say...whether I should laugh or be mad. ofcourse I just cracked up in my mind thinking, i'll be damned! Ok all the lecture you just gave me have no meaning and value now. how can u preach the religion when you yourself are going against it. Am I missing something? It was a blast listening to my uncle make fun of her ways and I just left it at that thinking...People...you gotta love 'em for being great entertainment when you least expect it!

At June 01, 2006 11:19 AM, Ehsan said...

Smoking is bad for health but it is not against our religion (assuming your faith is Islam). Preaching is favored in Islam but not mandatory. Auntie did not preach against smoking so can not really call her a hypocrite, hoping she prays for the dead souls herself.
I always enjoy the company of hypocrites. They always entertain me and I avoid making there mistakes. Its always how you look at them.

“Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel.” I am the earlier one guess you fall in the later category.

At June 01, 2006 7:40 PM, Hamza said...

You have a great writing style! However, I disagree with your conclusion that you should discard her advice simply bc she doesn't practice what she preaches. Although it is a natural reaction, I dont find it to be logical. Truth should stand for itself. If she told you something that was good and true and you were moved by it, then that was good of her. If she then hid her smoking so that her air of piety would be maintained in front of others, then that was bad of her. They are two separate events. I agree that her bad behavior would put her good behavior in question, and you would be justified to be skeptical as to whether what she told you was even true. But if it moved you, you should take the trouble to find out if it is indeed true, and if it is, you should embrace the truth regardless of the character of the person who first pointed you towards it. In other words ... don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just my two cents. :)

At June 10, 2006 3:37 PM, gr8gatsby said...

Don't think too much. But follow what you honestly believe is correct. (I say correct and not true.)

Hope you drop by my blog!

My very first blog entry - WELCOME TO MY BLOG

Welcome to my Blog!
Yes! I have finally decided to jump on the wagon and start "BLOGGING". But honestly what's with this new obsession about blogging? Isn't that the same thing as writing to a personal diary. I mean, yeah, granted a diary is something you write for yourself and and maybe for some, ur nosey mother who wants to know about your life, and that this is a medium that is somewhat similar. Instead of your nosey mother, its for your friends and others to keep up and hear your views...?

Am I the only one who notices the fact that there is no significant difference here? ok I'm rambling and I've already lost my audience. and possibly a few loyal friends. haha! I just decided to use this as an introduction to my BLOG! And using this entry as a slight warning to my fellow readers that this blog will consist of complete randomness (if that's even a word)

The past couple of months has allowed me to experience many different things that i have so much to write about that I'm not even sure where to begin. so let me leave you to this for now and i will get back to you ASAP! Sometime this weekend? Well will keep u posted of course! (pun was intended!)

At April 13, 2006 5:01 PM, Ahmed said...

Yay, I'm your first comment! Unless someone else is at it right now...hmm...

I don't think its quite a personal diary. Because the difference in how you may write your personal thoughts for your own reflection. And writing the personal thoughts you wish to share with others is quite substantial.

There are things you leave out, things you change, and sometimes you don't write for yourself but for your audience. So I think its quite different.

At April 13, 2006 5:05 PM, Dazzlingsitar said...

well not necessarily shouldn't u be writing to ur friends like you would to yourself?

At April 13, 2006 5:09 PM, Shirin said...

what a beginning...
you rock sista!!
Cant wait to read more of your blogs...keep it real!!

At April 13, 2006 5:13 PM, Ahmed said...

The way I think about things to myself is not always how I talk to others.

Thats not to say I'm two-faced. But rather, its
a) A different style
b) somethings are meant to be private

At April 26, 2006 11:58 AM, Krishnokoli said...

honey the whole point of a blog is that you have to update it.

At May 30, 2006 3:15 PM, Ehsan said...

You write a diary to hide yourself and you blog to reveal yourself. Either way you express your self. Question is how well you will do it.

I don’t write, I read and I will come back.

At June 01, 2006 12:20 AM, Dazzlingsitar said...

i know i have to update but question is when...but i have now!

At June 10, 2006 3:35 PM, gr8gatsby said...

Hello Dazzlingsitar

Welcome to the blogosphere. It's great fun! I've been blogging for over a year now.

At June 15, 2006 2:38 PM, Bushra said...

I am like you..enjoy random blogging. am always blogging everything but really about nothing.

At June 22, 2006 11:38 AM, Dazzlingsitar said...

thanks guys for the support...hope you guys enjoy my blogs! there are many more to come!

My Old Blog is BACK!!!!

Blogger finally heard me! my old blog is back. But the question of the day is... Do I transport everything here to there, or bring everything from there to here? I do like that template more but I kinda like this one too...ok so I'm just going to post everything here and once I decide to switch templates i will just do it. let's see.. In the mean time...enjoy reading my old posts...For Nostalgia? or for the first time for those who didn't get the opportunity before.

Well anyway..this is my Eid GIFT TO YOU...MY FELLOW READERS....AND YES IM BACKKK!!!!!!

Iranian University Chancellors Ask Bollinger 10 Questions

an email i received today that needed to be posted!! my own written work will be back soon. i promise

From: Ann & Ahmad Shirazi
Date: Wed, 26 Sep 2007 15:48:06 -0400
Subject: [codepinknewyork] Iran chancellors' letter to Bollinger

Iranian University Chancellors Ask Bollinger 10 Questions

TEHRAN - Seven chancellors and presidents of
Iranian universities and research centers, in a
letter addressed to their counterpart in the US
Colombia University, denounced Lee Bollinger's
insulting words against the Iranian nation and
president and invited him to provide responses
for 10 questions of the Iranian academicians and intellectuals.

The following is the full text of the letter.

* * * *

Mr. Lee Bollinger
Columbia University President

We, the professors and heads of universities and
research institutions in Tehran , hereby announce
our displeasure and protest at your impolite
remarks prior to Iranian President Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad's recent speech at Columbia University.

We would like to inform you that President
Ahmadinejad was elected directly by the Iranian
people through an enthusiastic two-round poll in
which almost all of the country's political
parties and groups participated. To assess the
quality and nature of these elections you may
refer to US news reports on the poll dated June 2005.

Your insult, in a scholarly atmosphere, to the
president of a country with a population of 72
million and a recorded history of 7,000 years of
civilization and culture is deeply shameful.

Your comments, filled with hate and disgust, may
well have been influenced by extreme pressure
from the media, but it is regrettable that media
policy-makers can determine the stance a
university president adopts in his speech.

Your remarks about our country included
unsubstantiated accusations that were the product
of guesswork as well as media propaganda. Some of
your claims result from misunderstandings that
can be clarified through dialogue and further research.

During his speech, Mr. Ahmadinejad answered a
number of your questions and those of students.
We are prepared to answer any remaining questions
in a scientific, open and direct debate.

You asked the president approximately ten
questions. Allow us to ask you ten of our own
questions in the hope that your response will
help clear the atmosphere of misunderstanding and
distrust between our two countries and reveal the truth.

Why did the US media put you under so much
pressure to prevent Mr. Ahmadinejad from
delivering his speech at Columbia University? And
why have American TV networks been broadcasting
hours of news reports insulting our president
while refusing to allow him the opportunity to
respond? Is this not against the principle of freedom of speech?

Why, in 1953, did the US administration overthrow
the Iran's national government under Dr Mohammad
Mosaddegh and go on to support the Shah's dictatorship?

Why did the US support the blood-thirsty dictator
Saddam Hussein during the 1980-88 Iraqi-imposed
war on Iran, considering his reckless use of
chemical weapons against Iranian soldiers
defending their land and even against his own people?

Why is the US putting pressure on the government
elected by the majority of Palestinians in Gaza
instead of officially recognizing it? And why
does it oppose Iran 's proposal to resolve the
60-year-old Palestinian issue through a general referendum?

Why has the US military failed to find Al-Qaeda
leader Osama Bin Laden even with all its advanced
equipment? How do you justify the old friendship
between the Bush and Bin Laden families and their
cooperation on oil deals? How can you justify the
Bush administration's efforts to disrupt
investigations concerning the September 11 attacks?

Why does the US administration support the
Mujahedin Khalq Organization (MKO) despite the
fact that the group has officially and openly
accepted the responsibility for numerous deadly
bombings and massacres in Iran and Iraq? Why does
the US refuse to allow Iran 's current government
to act against the MKO's main base in Iraq?

Was the US invasion of Iraq based on
international consensus and did international
institutions support it? What was the real
purpose behind the invasion which has claimed
hundreds of thousands of Iraqi lives? Where are
the weapons of mass destruction that the US
claimed were being stockpiled in Iraq?

Why do America's closest allies in the Middle
East come from extremely undemocratic governments
with absolutist monarchical regimes?

Why did the US oppose the plan for a Middle East
free of unconventional weapons in the recent
session of the International Atomic Energy Agency
Board of Governors despite the fact the move won
the support of all members other than Israel?

Why is the US displeased with Iran's agreement
with the IAEA and why does it openly oppose any
progress in talks between Iran and the agency to
resolve the nuclear issue under international law?

Finally, we would like to express our readiness
to invite you and other scientific delegations to
our country. A trip to Iran would allow you and
your colleagues to speak directly with Iranians
from all walks of life including intellectuals
and university scholars. You could then assess
the realities of Iranian society without media
censorship before making judgments about the Iranian nation and government.

You can be assured that Iranians are very polite
and hospitable toward their guests.

(c) 2007 Fars News Agency

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

As part of market research, I like to look through what our competitors are doing and I will admit that there is a particular newspaper that I dearly wait for every week. Why? Well it's not really for its editorial content but more for its classifieds section. Yes of all the sections, I like to read the Classifieds. Pourquoi? Because they have a matrimonial section that makes me chuckle every time. Every ad is based on superficial needs. So, every candidate, be it male or female, they all have to fit the common bill of being the following:-

1. FAIR – sorry that trip to the mac counter or your local department store brand foundation just wont cut it…though this should help the fair & lovely business…
2. TALL – specifically it says, taller than 5'6", though once in a blue moon I do see a 5'2" tall women being appreciated. I guess desi woman today are getting their share of "Bournvita", which makes them taller these days. Sorry shorties!
3. MUST BE A LEGAL CITIZEN – as if scraping for a job for an H1 visa wasn't hard enough
4. Must be a highly educated professional that is either in finance, law, medicine, or engineering – All marketing, entertainment, arts, in-house culinary need not apply
But last but not least (and my particular favorite)
5. MUST WEIGH UNDER 120 LBS FOR FEMALES AND MALES N/A – so all u 125lber fatties go find yourself another fat blob.

So after many weeks of reading pretty much the same ad over and over again, one ad really caught my eye. There was a mother looking for a bride for her son who is 34, 5'1", 185 lbs, looking for an immigration sponsor and is useless. What?? Am I reading this right? The boy is useless? Wow!! And here I am thinking that this must be a joke, which is like something I would do. Send a powerpoint presentation to one of
the candidates of how every slide describes my perfect qualities and when they eagerly wait for a picture, it would be a monkey smiling and showing off buckteeth-LOL!! Ok I know I should not be making fun of people who post their ad because it isn't much different from those who post their ad on shaadi.com or
www.iamsingleandyouaresinglesowillyoumarryme.com. Yes, I've paved my path of eternal spinsterhood by sheer karma- Actually what's probably worse is that as I write this journal, one of my parents (or both), or some concerned relative of mine has already or is putting my profile on, on one of those sites. Note to self: must do research to confirm further humiliation is not W-I-P. I'm sorry to all my friends who have
actually found matches on these sites. I truly am!

Anyway so back to the story…So here I was convinced that this ad was a joke, I called a dear friend, colleague if you will. Of course get asked if I'm interested instead in the bloke…And I of course say, he's too good to be true, no really!?!...lol (yes I'm going to hell I know) Only to my dismay that this the guy is not useless but issueless. (Is that even a word in the Bangali Dictionary?) I sit and do nothing and
drama finds me. SO I READ IT WRONG?!?!?!? How is that possible? I read it the same way twice…Yeah I read it wrong and it wasn't a typo just in my paper. So there is a guy out there 34, 5'1", 185, non-resident alien, who mind you is issueless looking for his pari. Bottom Line, there goes my fame of being a Jay Leno's funniest Headlines contributor. Oh well life goes on...

Comments From Facebook
Akkas Al-Ali (London) wrote
at 3:09pm on August 29th, 2007
i think my mum's been advertising for me again...

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Out of sheer guilt for not blogging for a very long time, here is a classic...


Good Muslims do not date. Instead, they mack online.

Because there are few authentic hadith on the Adab of online macking, it is incumbent on us to use Ijtihad on this very grave matter.

1. The Initial Cyber "Meeting."

No doubt this can be either on Naseeb or some Islamic online forum. As the saying goes, "first a smile, then a private message, then the comfort of AIM." After a flurry of Private Messages, it is time to complain: "It's too annoying to private message--do you have AIM or MSN?"

2. Enter AIM or MSN...

AIM and MSN are a Godsend for chickens like you and me who can't mack in real life. In real life, we may be scrawny desi boys with thick glasses and a plethora of back and toe hair. Online, however, we are a gift to all women worldwide, or at least those with 56 k modem and higher.

3. AIM or MSN?

American girls are on AIM, whereas fobs dominate the MSN scene. Hence, I would focus the bulk of my mack attacks on AIM girls exclusively. Do not waste mack on fobs. They have horrid grammar. They will ask to "have a beautiful friendship" with you and beg you to "please reply me." They may also use annoyingly cryptic transliteration like "thum janvar ho" that you may not be able to decipher.

Correction: Canadians and Brits may also use MSN, so I'd diversify my mack attack by downloading both MSN and AIM. I personally can't stand the British accent, but hey--I'll leave this up to you.

4. The Interrogation.

You must now ask the girl how many siblings she has, where she lives, her social security number, etc. It is wajib in most madhabs to compliment the girl on how pretty her name is, even if its something as hideous as Bajpinder. Additional points will be awarded to you based on your wittiness and charm, namely how well you flirt. You can tease the girl a little bit so long as you include the ever-so-charming wink smile at the end of whatever you say. "Oh, you're so silly..."

During this time, you try to use all the available information to estimate her approximate level of hotness. Statistics prove that girls with pink or purple font are more likely to be hot, whereas those girls who are funny tend to be fat and ugly. Intelligent girls are also ugly, so focus on the airheads majoring in something liberal art-ish. Stay away from feminazis (always ugly), and also from eleventeen-year olds.

5. The All Important Picture.

This is the real reason you are going through all this hassle. You want to see the picture. Once you get the picture, you can make a decision whether or not to proceed forward.

It's rather annoying how you have to wait for like five days or so before you can ask her for the picture. She won't send it to you in the beginning because you have to become her confidante (after a whole five days). It's annoying since you have to pre-invest so much mack before attaining the picture.

Golden Rule: If she sends her picture, it's a given that you must reciprocate with your own picture. I advise to give the picture after she sends hers. See point 6 below.

6. If her face sucks...

Now you are in quite a predicament, especially if you have invested a lengthy period of mack. (On a side-note, girls like to send pictures of themselves with the brightness on full to make their skin look clear and perfect--dont be fooled!) Her face sucking makes your macking mission pointless and it's time to withdraw the troops. This is what we call a waste of mack. Not only this, but by now--the girl is of course madly in love with you, but you are ready to abort the mission. What to do?

Panic not. Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. You MUST talk to her for a few more times before completely ignoring her. You only care for a girl based on her looks? You superficial jerk.

(If you haven't sent your picture yet, send a picture of your hideous friend Govindar Singh in lieu of yourself. That should do the trick.)

7. If the Picture makes you want to do wudu again and sing Bollywood songs in the shower ...

Now it's time to take off the gloves and let the hardcore flirting commence.


Below, we shall show you a sample conversation:

MuslimMacker: So what ethnicity are you?

AngelBabyHijabiPrincess786: I'm Afghani.

MuslimMacker: I've heard Afghanistan is beautiful...I guess everything from Afghanistan is beautiful

AngelBabyHijabiPrincess786: *insert blushing face here*

MuslimMacker: So are you wearing your hijab right now as we speak?

and so on and so forth...

Rumi poetry is also a sure-fire winner with most girls...have some in your profile, and also have fun by having flirtatious away messages. Ask her if she really isn't a hoor (NOT a whore) and comment on how her eyes are the gates to Paradise.

8. Don't be too aggressive though...

You don't want to blow your cover right away. You want to flirt just enough so that she suspects but isn't sure. The ideal situation is one in which she can't sleep at night because she keeps thinking: "does he like me?" Keep her in mystery for awhile.

Question: Assalamo Alaykum Imam Sahab Jaysh. I have the question to you. Should I delay the responses when I chat her to seem like I have a life?

Answer: Thank you for your query. This still a heavily disputed issue amongst the Fuqaha of Islam. One Madhab believes that you should delay responses by 20-60 seconds in order to seem like you have a life. But another Madhab claims that responses should be rapid-fire style in order to show that both parties click together very well.

Should you IM her first or should you wait till she does? This too is a question that the scholars have pondered for ages. And what about being online the entire day? That won't look good, and only confirm her suspicions that you have no life; for this, you can either give birth to multiple screen-names or you can go into invisible mode with the new AIM.

9. Does she like you?

The speed of her responses is a good indication of her interest level. Additionally, she likes you if she says things like "you're so funny!" and if she uses ten thousand smiley faces after every sentence...indeed, how much she likes you is directly proportional to the number of smiley faces and extraneous exclamation marks. There is a monumental difference between a simple "salams" and a "Hey Salams!!! ". If she IMs you first, then you pretty much are going to father her children.

And the all time favorite of mine is the classic "wow, you kept me up the whole night--it's almost fajr time!" Once she says that, you know she's all yours. Or she might even say "I am going to fail my test tomorrow--I'm going to blame you now!" (score!!! she can't even study without thinking about you and your handsome IMs.)

10. How do you know if she doesn't like you?

If there is a drastic change in the velocity of her responses, if she blocks you, or if she declares your face to suck--then it's a pretty good indication that she doesn't like you. You pretty much suck if you can't even get girls online. In the words of one Islamican, "it's the internet--at least pretend you're cool."

11. Multiple-Macking...a cyber-crime in all 48 contiguous states of this here America

Whereas you may use the euphemism of "diversifying" your macking portfolio, girls will accuse you of multiple-macking. Multiple-macking is when you are flooded with IMs from young women dying for your hand in cyber-marriage.

My advice: You won't be able to hold down ten conversations at a time. Don't spread your mack out too thin, and try to focus on the most important few mackees. Always prioritize mackees based on not only hotness, but also those who live closer to your residence:
( h / a) where a denotes availability...

Edit: It's actually h*a ...we regret this error.

Divide up your buddy list into sections, such as: Gold Club Mackees, Silver Club Mackees, and Runner-ups. Never discuss mackees with fellow mackers unless you have first signed some sort of Pact demarcating territory. You can also trade mackees with another macker.

Also, be careful to cover your tracks and make sure that none of your mackees are in contact with each other. They might realize then that you are multiple-macking. Not good for business. A lot of hijabsters and niqabsters tend to flock together so be extra cautious. It is preferable to have mackees who all live in different states, so even if she asks if she's the only girl you talk to her, you can say: "yes, in the state..."

12. "Giving Dawah..."

1-Macking is a form of giving dawah.

2-Dawah is Fardh.

3-Therefore and thence, macking is Fardh.

We should give dawah exclusively to hot chicks. (That's good since only people of the opposite sex show interest in Islam anyways.)

We shall try our utmost to convert hot chicks! What a noble task! We shall wage Jihad on Bollywood and take the chicks as our right-hand captives...

13. Converting a Kafir Girl via AIM.

I'm too tired to finish this stupid webpage, so I'm going to skip this part. But it's in my head and it's damn funny. So laugh. In conclusion, all the kafir girl has got to do is to repeat the shahadah after the Imam:

Imam: La Illaha illallah

Kafir Girl: La ilah la la la la ......

Heck, you could say anything and she would repeat it. But, she is officially nikahfiable now so let the show begin! Of course, the local aunties will gossip at your wedding about how you had to marry her because she is pregnant and how she secretly still worships Shiva and Goro (mk3). But what do you care? You're madly in love.

14. Why online macking won't work out in the end...

In the end, it's not going to work out. Why? Because she lives in Alaska and you'll never even seen her. It won't work. Lesson: Don't waste time macking online. Go to ISNA instead. (I.S.N.A. = Innumerable Sluts Now Available)